Mortality
English majors are wacky. The nutty professor should have taught Comparative Literature instead of Chemistry. Case and point, one of the English Department’s professors at my university stated that he honestly believes that he will not die. Yes, he believes that since he believes that he is immortal, he is.
Personally, I think he never matured from adolescence. So often, teenagers act as if nothing can harm them; invincibility grips their perception of life. This belief follows well into the twenties as America’s average age for the point of adulthood skyrockets.
Slowly through the years, as abstract reasoning develops, the young adolescent does begin to grasp the idea of time ticking slowly by to a certain point in which their existence will cease. For some, and possibly many, this idea steadily developed; for others, one instance brought it all into focus. Through the past couple of years, the realization of my own mortality has hit me in several sudden thuds, which knock the wind out of my lungs and mind and alert me to the seriousness of life.
My first encounter with the massive concept of mortality crashed into me after receiving my first license - even before my first accident. In September of my junior year of high school, I ecstatically opened a letter from the DMV and read through the rules, instructions, and preconditions regarding my new license. Along with my card, came a small addition: the option of the donor sticker. Would I like to be an organ donor? One small pink dot issued a torrent of questions, all of which regarded a period after life. In my time of decisions regarding college, career, and future, I faced an ever morbid decision. What happens to my body after death?
I knew that after death, my soul would live on, but the body would return to dust whence it came. Why then, would it matter if my organs rotted along with it? Yet the eeriness of parts of myself living in other people almost freaked me out. However, after talking wholeheartedly with my parents, I decided to stamp my identification with a pink seal of life in death.
The second engagement with my mortality collided with me when a raised black F250 did not. My best friend and I had gone to the mall and were returning at night. As we passed through an intersection about a half mile away from our houses, the truck ran a red light and turned left into my passenger side at a good 40 miles per hour. By the grace of God, and I use that phrase literally, my reflexes reacted with precision and speed to avert a fatal crash. Moreover, in the sudden jolt and acceleration, my car, an SUV, remained upright despite the very high roll-over risk of cars its size.
In this instance, not my own life, but the life of my dearest friend occupied my mind. I could possibly have survived, but she would most likely have been killed instantly from the direct impact on her side. This comprehension brought the possibility of death back into my mind. In one instant, I could not only lose my life, but also the lives of my dearest loved ones.
Most recently, the issue of death flipped from the focus of being left behind to that of those I will one day leave behind. Apparently, my credit union offers free life insurance to a certain amount. I received a very random letter in the mail the other day informing me of this service. The depths of my mind produced similar questions once again. Who should benefit after my death? Naturally, I chose a family member, but I faced once more the recognition that I will die one day. Essentially, I have a price placed upon my death. But more than an insurance check is produced with my passing; also grief to my family, but life to some unknown people somewhere in the nation.
These questions do not plague me though, for I found truth and eternal life of a different kind than that of the English professor; life of the spirit. But you, have you considered your mortality? Has the concept of death hit you upside the head yet? Moreover, do you know what will happen, not to your body, but to YOU after your death? I suggest you begin searching.
Personally, I think he never matured from adolescence. So often, teenagers act as if nothing can harm them; invincibility grips their perception of life. This belief follows well into the twenties as America’s average age for the point of adulthood skyrockets.
Slowly through the years, as abstract reasoning develops, the young adolescent does begin to grasp the idea of time ticking slowly by to a certain point in which their existence will cease. For some, and possibly many, this idea steadily developed; for others, one instance brought it all into focus. Through the past couple of years, the realization of my own mortality has hit me in several sudden thuds, which knock the wind out of my lungs and mind and alert me to the seriousness of life.
My first encounter with the massive concept of mortality crashed into me after receiving my first license - even before my first accident. In September of my junior year of high school, I ecstatically opened a letter from the DMV and read through the rules, instructions, and preconditions regarding my new license. Along with my card, came a small addition: the option of the donor sticker. Would I like to be an organ donor? One small pink dot issued a torrent of questions, all of which regarded a period after life. In my time of decisions regarding college, career, and future, I faced an ever morbid decision. What happens to my body after death?
I knew that after death, my soul would live on, but the body would return to dust whence it came. Why then, would it matter if my organs rotted along with it? Yet the eeriness of parts of myself living in other people almost freaked me out. However, after talking wholeheartedly with my parents, I decided to stamp my identification with a pink seal of life in death.
The second engagement with my mortality collided with me when a raised black F250 did not. My best friend and I had gone to the mall and were returning at night. As we passed through an intersection about a half mile away from our houses, the truck ran a red light and turned left into my passenger side at a good 40 miles per hour. By the grace of God, and I use that phrase literally, my reflexes reacted with precision and speed to avert a fatal crash. Moreover, in the sudden jolt and acceleration, my car, an SUV, remained upright despite the very high roll-over risk of cars its size.
In this instance, not my own life, but the life of my dearest friend occupied my mind. I could possibly have survived, but she would most likely have been killed instantly from the direct impact on her side. This comprehension brought the possibility of death back into my mind. In one instant, I could not only lose my life, but also the lives of my dearest loved ones.
Most recently, the issue of death flipped from the focus of being left behind to that of those I will one day leave behind. Apparently, my credit union offers free life insurance to a certain amount. I received a very random letter in the mail the other day informing me of this service. The depths of my mind produced similar questions once again. Who should benefit after my death? Naturally, I chose a family member, but I faced once more the recognition that I will die one day. Essentially, I have a price placed upon my death. But more than an insurance check is produced with my passing; also grief to my family, but life to some unknown people somewhere in the nation.
These questions do not plague me though, for I found truth and eternal life of a different kind than that of the English professor; life of the spirit. But you, have you considered your mortality? Has the concept of death hit you upside the head yet? Moreover, do you know what will happen, not to your body, but to YOU after your death? I suggest you begin searching.
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posted by bellevoce | 5:00 PM
4 Comments:
My search led from a stagnant Sunday school class, to the simplicity of the Zen, to the wisdom of New Age metaphysics, and back to a Sunday school class. And there it stays. There are many paths, but but one destination.
I was actually contemplating this very thing the other night... um... oh yes, Saturday night, to be precise. I was reading Psalm 39:
"O LORD, make me know my end
and what is the measure of my days;
let me know how fleeting I am!
Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths,
and my lifetime is as nothing before you.
Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath!
Surely a man goes about as a shadow!
Surely for nothing they are in turmoil;
man heaps up wealth and does not know who will gather!" (vv. 4-6)
"Hear my prayer, O LORD,
and give ear to my cry;
hold not your peace at my tears!
For I am a sojourner with you,
a guest, like all my fathers.
Look away from me, that I may smile again,
before I depart and am no more!" (vv. 12-13)
Sobering, but as you said necessary. I realized as I meditated on those verses and prayed through them that at 20, I'd already lived a quarter of my life. Now THAT was a scary thought. Granted, it's the first quarter, and I wasn't fully self-aware for part of it--but what have I done with the first portion of my life? And what will I do with the next?
AJ
<><
I am often beset by thoughts like AJ's.
Of course, my mind is fixated on your introduction to the topic. This year, I learned a most interesting fact. I was reading about worldviews, and found that postmodernism was not created by philosophers, but by English professors. Figures...
This made me smile because today i told you that i pretty much dont feel like a can be harmed physicaly. Hehe and it totally pertains to this blog and thats very cool. But as i was going to say is that your absolutly right male and female at about the age of 17-25 think they are impervious to harm. But i feel there are two different kinds of harm. There is the kind of harm that loseing a father or brother can do to a person, and then there is the type of harm that pertains to cutting yourself or some type of physical injery. I feel you are correct about 1 side of it. Whitch side may you ask? Well ill let you think over this and you descide for youself. I start school tommorow and im tired so i will read the rest of your blogs tommorow. For now i bid thee farewell and i hope you apritiate the comments because i was really trying to watch my punctuation and spelling for you but im horrable at both so please dont hate me if i messed up i tryed my best.=)
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