Bella Voce

to share, to hear, to listen, to discover, to learn . . . continuously

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Location: California, United States

Yes, "bellevoce" does not match the title of my blog. This near-Italian username stems from a play on words of my childhood nickname of Elle in combination with the Italian translation of "beautiful voice (bella voce)." My mother coined this name for my first email address and I have come to love it for its root in my Italian heritage and remembrance of my childhood.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Zendagi Migzara

I don’t know how to write this post other than to say that The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini is simply astounding! He presents life with a taste of reality, not the complete tragedies of Shakespeare nor the utter bliss of Jane Austen (though I do love both). For the characters of his novel, life is “not a Hindi movie,” as a character says in the book. Life does not stop at the moment of a happy ending, but continues on for eons to come.

I personally feel that the blending of cultures creates a masterpiece of extraordinary intricacy and beauty. Yes, we all know the “works of art” that consist of purely one panel of color, but compare those to the alluring complexity of Van Gogh’s Starry Night or the mind boggling works of pointillism, such as those of Georges Seurat. So I feel Hosseini did with The Kite Runner. Every now and then, he would use his native tongue, Farsi, for nouns and phrases amidst his writing. Half of the time I already knew the words, the other half of the time, I learned new words. At one point, Hosseini used the phrase "Zendagi migzara." I knew that zendagi meant life and that the second word was a verb in the present tense, though I didn’t know what it meant. Oh, I felt the joy of learning more than the story line!

Amidst his story, Hosseini includes politics, a subject that cannot be left out for a novel set in the geography of Afghanistan. The politics presented, however, was not the American perspective of how “we saved the world,” but the Afghani, first hand experience of the turmoil of an oppressed and neglected people. You do not simply hear about the genocides and public stonings on television as we hear periodically on the evening news, but you witness them as through the eyes of a man torn between the wretched state of his homeland and two decades of living in American security.

And while politics was apparent, the true story was of the inner turmoil of betrayal versus loyalty, what the ties of brotherhood should do and fail to do. Yet even through the bleakest times, opportunities of redemption can still be grasped. Life can be very bitter sweet, but it goes on – zendagi migzara – but life goes on.



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Thursday, August 09, 2007

Off The Wall

After a year of keeping my distance and testing the waters, I think that I am going to dive in head first.

Into what? You ask.

Into the deep waters of the personal blog post. This might be kinda intense, though maybe not for you, but definitely for me. (I take that back. As I revise the piece prior to posting, I realize that you will see a different side of me here than maybe ever before.)

Through this year and amid the small pieces of fiction, prompts for thought, essays from class, and political posings, I have not had a great deal of emotional posts. I have hinted a few times at emotion and trauma, but not much. I haven’t shared with you the joys and bursts of anger of being an RA, the struggles of maintaining friendships, the fight to restrain myself, the loss of the foundation of my life, the extreme pleasure of maybe/possibly/I’m not quite sure feeling in love, and the ache of missing half of my heart torn from my body by breaking up “mutually.”

In fact, as I am writing this now, I don’t know if I’ll actually post it. If you are reading this, it means I have – duh… anyways.

A series of events led to this decision, and despite the fact that this progression might bore you, I’ll go on, because, hey, you’re still reading right now, right?

While talking on the phone with my best friend today, we discussed how she wanted to start her blog back up again. She wanted to share and discuss her struggle with the benefits and disadvantages of being thought of as “beautiful.” (For your information, she is gorgeous.) However, she was afraid that people would dismiss her as being catty and not knowing . . . blah, blah, blah. You get the point. (And if you are gagging right now because you believe that “catty” shit, leave my blog right now because I have no time for your hypocrisy.)

Hypocrisy. So that leads to the next point of my story. I shared her pain, though not of the same topic. I understood her through my case of “white guilt.” I hate what has happened racially, economically, and socially through the centuries to people who were deemed “not white.” I constantly fear that people will dismiss my feelings toward the subject as “white guilt,” as I am from probably almost privileged in every way, except that I am female. But I don’t hate racism and classism because I’m white and it is PC for me to say that. I hate it because it is wrong.

As we chatted about this and about blogs, she mentioned that she thought I should be more personal on my blog.

“Is there a Dr. Dorian here? Yes, I have a ton of bricks to be delivered to him.” Cue the bricks to fall from the ceiling onto Zach Braff after he signs the delivery slip. It kinda felt like that.

I had always thought I was very open on my blog. And I still think that I am, but just not with my feelings. I tried to write it off as, “I have been feeling the waters, you know, so that I don’t get stalked and kidnapped” and as “that’s not what my blog is, it’s actually meant to be a thinking blog to inspire people.” But this is only half the truth, thus a full lie.

Look at the post below this. In it, I celebrate my blog’s first anniversary. I re-posted my original post in which it states that “I am an open person” and something about people’s lives being books to be read. You want hypocrisy? I’m a living example.

Thus, you are reading this post. Now, I know this preface has been long, but I want to share a little bit more. I wanted to be personal, so here it is.

I had been thinking about that “white guilt” discussion and about a comment I made on another blogger’s post. I remembered through the years as my aspirations for the future ranged from graphic designer, to architect, to first female president (Hilary might take that one from me), to conservative political news anchor, to liberal journalist in Africa, to an English professor, to my now current idea. And through all my lofty ideas, I have always received undaunted support from my friends and family, until my latest goal.

I love Middle Eastern poetry and literature. Hafez, Rumi, and Ahmad Shamlu (a poet whose work inspired an upcoming post) now stand with Shakespeare, Alfred Lord Tennyson, and Robert Frost as my favorite poets. I am assuming that the majority of you don’t know who they are – they are masters of Persian poetry. I love how scholars are postulating that the story of Leili & Majnoon might have inspired the stories of Tristan & Isolde and Romeo & Juliet. I want to get in on that field. I feel that it is ripe for harvesting the joys of intertextuality that have been forgotten as scholarly research has focused on the Greco-Roman (read: white) influence on civilization and culture. Right now, I am thinking about pursing a comparative literature Ph.D. and studying the influence of Middle Eastern Literature on English Literature.

However, here is where that personal, emotional side comes in. So often, I feel like this ambition is doubted by my friends and family. They act like it is a passing phase. I’m only learning Farsi because my ex-boyfriend is Persian. I only listen to Arash, Cameron Cartio, and DJ Aligator right now and will go back to the kitschy (can music be kitsch AJ?) Christian alternative next month. The only reason I think Middle Eastern men are attractive is because they remind me of an old crush.

You know, never mind the fact that I loved hearing Farsi spoken before I even knew my ex-boyfriend existed, that I want to be a linguistics double major, and that I will be learning Japanese in the fall and Arabic next summer. Never mind that I already loved techno/pop, that Cameron Cartio sings in at least two other languages, and that it has been much more than a month. And NEVER mind the fact that I think Middle Eastern women are also always beautiful and that, as for the men, I find all that hair down-right sexy!

The truth is, who knows what will come of my life and I don’t give you any promises. But maybe I’ll share my feelings with you while I am searching.

So, whew! I think that this was my first “rant” on my blog. Summary: doubt hurts and life is not only “rainbows and butterflies” and sometimes the “compromise that moves us along” hurts like hell. But hey . . . life goes on – Zendagi migzara. And that is the title of my next post.


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Sunday, August 05, 2007

Celebrate with Me!

Hello Everyone!

Today is my blog's ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY! I wanted to offer up a big thanks to moreburritos.com and the_matrix_has_you.blogspot.com (i.e. Mike and AJ) for inspiring me to begin my blog one year ago. Thank you also to everyone who has commented through the year and raised some great discussions.

As a tribute to my first post, I wanted to re-post it in nostalgia. So here you go:

A New Frontier

Interestingly enough, my excursion into the new frontier of blogging began on paper with a black pilot G-2 0.7 mm pen. I believe this will turn into a tale of self-exploration more than the sharing of my life, as a true literary masterpice should.

I am a very open person and enjoy sharing my life with others. I do not necessarily believe that the phrase "I can read you like a book" only possesses a negative connotation. Does not one read certain books to enjoy the story, to escape to a distant land, or to further find one's self in the text of the pages?

I have a friend who stated that his true friends are books. A very interesting comment that I wish I had had the sense to ask him to elaborate upon further. He then told me that if I wanted to understand him, I would have to read a book of his. I took the challenge and did in fact learn a great deal about his motivations, thoughts, and view of others. I also rediscovered my joy in disecting the intricacies of philosophy from literature.

To bring this analogy back around, just as books influence our lives from the mother's knee and on, so also we influence the lives of others. We form our own opinions based upon our reactions to the opinions of others. I look forward to you learning about me. I look forward to learning about you. I look forward to learning about myself from you.

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If anyone has a favorite post, write a comment about it here and I'll respond with my favorite post of your own. Thank you all so much!
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